Fly on the wall

If you were a fly on the inside wall of my brain you would be dazzled by so many random things going on at the same time. And then it would dawn on you why I never call you or forget to email you, or…my favorite…email you exactly one month prior to your actual birthday wishing you a great day.

For this reason alone I know I must surround myself with the necessary tools to keep my life working, organized and simple.

Enter exhibit A: my iPhone. Prior to this lovely gadget I thought my Phil & Ted’s double stroller was the love of my life (well, let’s be honest, it is a pretty amazing child carrying device that must not be overlooked!). My iPhone has this sync functionality that will sync from Outlook to my phone calendar, keeping me updated on when I have settlements and (most importantly) when I have playdates.

Enter exhibit B: my new Dell laptop that will hopefully help me stay organized and be mobile more. My husband loves me enough to research the subject, price shop, and then takes the kids with him to the store to buy the blasted thing. If that’s not love I don’t know what is. Seriously.

Enter Exhibit C: my new car. Not only does my Mazda5 hold groceries and my double stroller, but it allows me to keep Open House signs and other gear I need for whatever life throws my way.

And then there are moments when you, having the privilege of being in my head and reading my thoughts, think to yourself, “Self, how did this crazy lady ever think that having children 21 months apart was a good idea?” I had one of those moments this morning. I’m getting the children ready for the day, trying to get out the door by the time in my brain I wanted to leave (you know, important realtor stuff) and Lily is just being a typical toddler…moving around, not coming to me when I ask, staring dumbfounded at the television. Ben is climbing on me repeating, “mamamama! [SQUEAL as loud as any one person can squeal] … mamma!” I started to internally freak out. You know that moment. You catch yourself only a fraction of the times it happens and this was one of those moments where I paused. I looked at my children and reminded myself that THIS is what it’s about. They have no clue I’ve just composed a mental list of all things I’d like to accomplish today. All they care about is climbing on me and stuffing as many strawberries in their mouth as possible. Throw in some Nick Jr on TV and we’re golden. So I lingered a bit longer and showed more patience than I wanted. Because these guys are why I do what I do. God has given me the privilege and responsibility of loving these gifts and that’s what I should do. Not stress over whether I vacuum or clean up the kitchen or get to do the crazy amounts of laundry that need attention. I need to love on my Lily and Ben and show them God’s kindness…even when it’s not convenient for me.

So I had a moment that was the result of a pause that was the result of two needy and wonderful toddlers. And it was just what I needed too. A moment. 

As for that fly on the wall of my brain, no guarantees that tomorrow I won’t turn into crazy lady with the two kids who won’t stop whining at the grocery store. One can only hope.